How can I have good conversations with my kids?

Having good conversations with your kids not only improves their health outcomes but can also be fun and bonding for all of you! Below are some helpful tips to get the most of Screenable's conversation guides.

Reminders for parents before you begin

Your job is to connect, not teach. This is the most important thing. Yes, your kids (and you) will learn some things, but even more critical is building a strong, trusting relationship and an open line of communication. Keep that in mind as the overall goal.
Stay non-judgmental and open-minded. It's tempting as parents to weigh in on how our kids use their devices or apps. We probably have some frustrations with their past behavior or media choices. But during these conversations, shelve those thoughts. Your kids need to feel that you are there with them as a teammate, walking the path forward together.
Respond openly as to your own experience. Remember, you’re also learning how to use technology in healthy ways. If you try to know all the answers, it’ll come across disconnected. But if you can speak to your own struggles with technology, it’ll resonate.
Let your kids be the experts. We guarantee they'll love it, getting to teach you something and even showing off a little. We build this into a lot of our activities and questions, and kids eat it up, staying engaged and wanting to do more. So wherever possible, put away your own agenda and enter their world.
It's okay to be a little nervous or even fear some awkward moments. Nearly every parent we've interviewed after using our conversation guides says it goes away quickly and the value of the experience more than makes up for it.

This all make take some practice. That's okay. The Screenable approach is very different from traditional parental controls, but that's by design. Read more about why we differ.

Practical tips

Do it over dinner. It's a great time to have a conversation that fits into many families' lives. Even if kids are a little bit distracted, it's okay – perfect is the enemy of the good-enough. Families are busy, so be realistic.
Do it with siblings. Relatedly, it's fine and practical to have a conversation with multiple siblings. The guides are designed to accommodate this. The kids will hear each other's responses and learn from each other's experiences. (Note that for more advanced topics, or ones specific to just one kid's development, a 1-on-1 can be better.)
Frame it as an activity to do together. Don't talk about it as a "lesson" or "training" or anything that sounds like work. Make sure they know that you'll be doing it with them, together. If it's just with one kid, it could be part of a "special time."
Relate it to something personal or recent. A great way to raise the topic is to tie it to something that happened recently, whether something personal to you or the family or even something in the news. This can make it feel less forced and avoids being potentially perceived as disciplinary.
Consider incentivizing with screen time. For some families, it will work to make screen time a reward after having a conversation, the idea being that we need to learn how to handle screens before we run off and use them. For other families, that will be tough because kids may associate Screenable with something negative, like doing their chores or homework, and it'll make connection harder. Use your best judgment.
Consider other rewards. For some families, it will work to incentivize each conversation with ice cream, a toy, or even money, the rationale being that it's worth it if it means kids are attentive and take part in a good conversation that shapes positive behavior in the future. For other families, that won’t work, whether due to parenting style or principles or practical shortcomings, like kids hustling through conversations to get the reward. Again, use your best judgment.
Leave it open-ended. Most guides take 10-15 minutes to complete, but if possible don't have a hard stop at the end. That's because many of the activities in the conversation guides are fun and can sprawl into longer sessions. This is by design! You can always cap it if you need to, but the point is to connect and enjoy this time together, so read your kids' cues.

Struggling? Need more advice?

We'd love to hear how it's going for you and what could make things better. If you're struggling with something particular, we'd love to help troubleshoot it. Please get in touch.